Battle For The Bathroom

The heat of the day had faded away on a light breeze as the sun prepared to retire for the evening. It was not unlike any other fall day out in the green and brown rural nothingness of Texas far away from anything that resembled civilization. Work and life had slowed to a nice lazy flow. It was a good time to change uniform from the cool shorts of the day to the warm long pants of night. As I glided into the quiet bathroom, my mind in a slightly tired haze, the peace was shattered by a high piercing screech. Aaaagh! My ears cringed in pain. Had the air conditioner broken? Was the vent fan going bad? But neither was on. I quickly stepped back out and shut the door to locate the obnoxious noise. I listened and moved my head as a sensor. It was indeed coming from the bathroom. Opening the door, again came the unbelievable racket. I looked about but saw nothing. I reengaged my sensor again and tracked the cacophony to the bathroom vent. Something moved. Something small and dark with a twisted smile and sensors of his own hopped. I opened the vent further and yelled, “Ha ha! Take that!” as I switched on the fan in hopes of slicing into a million pieces any dream he might have of taking up residency with me as I have previously done to so many other suitors. Alas, he was smarter than the others had been. He crouched under the fan and laughed sardonically at me while his thick rear legs rubbed together to further inflame my passion. Not one to take such a show of audacity, I jumped into the shower, twisted the round, deep vent screen till it came loose, then quickly slammed it against the wall to trap the fiend. He found an opening and crawled out from under. I moved the screen over him again. He jumped out of the way. I dived for him. He ran to the left. I dived again. He zig zagged right. One final lunge and I had him caged! He tested the walls of his prison and probed for a way out. There was none. Very slowly I moved the screen over the shower drain to offer him a false exit. He took it. As the shower water now came raining down to push him further on his journey, I sealed his fate with the plug. So long, my enemy. Farewell. Don’t write!